Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

2012 Free Agency: Patriots Sign Brandon Lloyd

Saturday, March 17th, 2012

Brandon Lloyd will be making highlight reel catches in NE next year

NEPD Editor: Mike Loyko

The worst kept secret in free agency became reality on Saturday as the New England Patriots signed former St. Louis Rams and Denver Broncos receiver Brandon Lloyd, albeit a couple days later than anticipated.

UPDATE: The deal is reportedly for 3 years / $12 million.


Pre-Game Meal: Cincinnati Bengals

Saturday, September 11th, 2010

Tom Brady just jumped up in the tax brackets.

NEPD Staff Writer: B. Delabarrera

FINALLY! We’ve arrived at the 2010-2011 opening weekend, and only a short three weeks after Roger Goodell saw his own shadow! The 2009 AFC East Champion New England Patriots will host the Cincinnati Bengals, the reigning crown of the AFC North.

Like most of their northern counterparts, Cincinnati comes out of the gate running down teams’ throats. Normally this really wouldn’t worry me, however, now with the WR-tandem of Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens, the Bengals prove to be quite the challenge for a young, hopeful defense that is looking to find their identity.


Spanish Teachers Protest Ocho Cinco

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Editor’s Note: This article is from September, 2008

When Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco to reflect the 85 on the back of his jersey, he didn’t figure that he would instantly be making thousands of enemies nationwide.

Aaron Carlson, Spanish teacher from Kearney, Nebraska explains: “Chad’s little prank is making it difficult for us to effectively teach numbers. Students think that we are teaching them wrong because this clown can’t use a dictionary.”


An NFL Wedding (2010 NFL Season Preview)

Sunday, July 18th, 2010
An NFL Wedding

Where does your team fit in an NFL Wedding?

As I suffered through 104 degree heat yesterday at the sister of Mrs. NEPD’s wedding, I finally came up for my 3rd annual “Ridiculous 2010 NFL Preview” format  – how each NFL team will be like a member of a wedding party this year.  You can also check out the 2009 and 2008 versions. Without further ado, the results of my heat-addled brain…


Fantasy Football Team Names: Patriots Edition

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Now that it is Fantasy Football time again, we’re breaking out this list again.

Fantasy Football Team Names for Patriot Fans:


World Cup Preview for an NFL Fan

Monday, June 7th, 2010
2010 World Cup

The 2010 World Cup kicks off June 11th.

When the 2010 World Cup kicks off its first game with host country South Africa against Mexico, some NFL fans might want to watch, but not be exactly sure what each team is like.  Here is a handy guide comparing each World Cup qualifier with an equivalent NFL team.


Modern Family: Sports Edition

Monday, March 15th, 2010

If you haven’t done yourself the favor of watching ABC’s “Modern Family”, give it 30 minutes this Wednesday and you’ll be hooked. As a preview, here is how we would cast the show using figures from the world of sports.

Manny (Usain Bolt)
The most dominant man in sports (untouchable in the 100m) with the most dominant character on TV today. I would pay $12 to watch these two race. Right now.

Jay (Brett Favre), Gloria (Vikings)
The old grizzled man, coming back from a gig with many highs and a few lows (Married… with Children), steps up and comes back with what might be his greatest season ever, all with a brand new team.

Check out The Office: Sports Edition while you’re here!

Mitchell (Brian Scalabrine), Cam (Jon Asamoah)
I can’t look at Mitchell without seeing Brian Scalabrine for some reason, while Jon Asamoah is the only University of Illinois offensive lineman that I can think of. Evidently, Cam was quite the blocker.

Phil (Wade Phillips), Claire (Jerry Jones)
Phil, who thinks he is in charge, is the guy found whooping it up, trying to fit in with people half his age. Meanwhile, Claire is the one that is really calling the shots.

Luke (Rich Ankiel)
Have you seen either of these guys try and pitch? Not pretty.

More NE Patriots Draft:
2010 NFL Mock Draft / 2009 All-Food Team

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