If Mike Ditka had a Blog

Chicago Bears
Coach Ditka here. Sorry for the extended absence readers, I got back from Bermuda a bit ago where I was beating the hell out of something called Hurricane Bertha. Three fat assholes from Chicago dared me to do it, so I said what the hell. I think one of them had a heart-attack when I told them I won, kept on pounding his chest and stuff. I’m rested up now.

Anyways, I was out at the Wal-Mart today trying to get one of those Wii-Fit systems, cause I’d like to see the missus twirling around all nice like I saw on the internet. Some snot-nosed kid was buying the last one they had in the store, and wouldn’t give it up for my autograph. So I offered him my car, my wallet, next month’s paycheck, and my shirt. He accepted that one. Probably the second-best trade I’ve ever made.

Will Ferrell called me up today too, telling me to leave him the hell alone. That hairy bastard just doesn’t want “Kicking and Screaming 2” to do better than Stepbrothers is doing. That screenplay is a real ass-kicker. I’d like to have that Erin Andrews lady in there for sure.

Anyways, I hear that my boy Emmitt Smith is being replaced on NFL Countdown. Are you kidding me? That in unpossible! Emmitt was one of the best parts of that show, dropping in relevant quotes and interesting tidbits. Maybe I’ll hire him as a spokesman for one of my resorts.

Some Ditka Shouts:
Hey, kudos to MJD at Shutdown Corner, my moustache is pretty damn amazing.

Hey Deuce, I will kick your scrawny ass right now. You too Paul.

This competition isn’t even close. Da Bears.

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