Hello, my name is James, and I hate Fantasy Football. I know what you are saying, he must really suck at FF, have been burned by some trades, or been beaten on a fluke play; on the contrary, I was a pretty decent player (3 titles/6 years). Last year I gave it up cold turkey, and this is what I’ve learned.

NFL Fans turned Fantasy football owners have changed from loyal fans in the throes of a passionate monogamous relationship, to a man who loves his wife, but sees girls on the side. Nicolas Kulish said it best-

Hands stained Denver-Bronco orange by Buffalo chicken wings shoot into the air for a Carolina Panther touchdown one minute and for a Baltimore Raven safety the next. A howl of joy greets a meaningless yardage gain in the closing moments of a game, even though the team in question is three touchdowns behind. Loyalty is now shattered into tiny shards, splintered by fantasy football teams.

Many people enjoy their sports bigamy, and proclaim that they are just as die-hard of a fan now as there ever were before taking their first sip of Fantasy. I thought the same thing until Nov. 25th, 2007. Brian Westbrook, running back for the Eagles, scored a TD in the 1st quarter against the Patriots which sealed the win in my fantasy league. I didn’t cheer on the outside, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy on the inside. It was at that point that I began questioning the power of Fantasy.

Now, when I watch the New England Patriots play, be it in person, or on DirecTV, I want the Patriots to win-nothing else. Standing in Gillette Stadium last year as Tom Brady was being scraped off the field, I was shocked to see over a dozen of people in my section instantly pop open their cellphones. Were they calling to commiserate with their dad or best friend? Nope, they were getting their friend, wife, girlfriend, or mistress to try and pick up another quarterback for their fantasy team. Were they worried about the New England Patriots championship prospects, or if their “Brady’s Bunch” team was going to be able to weather the storm? I’d say their priority was the latter.

Liberate yourself, truly embrace your favorite team once again, and give up the false god of Fantasy Football!

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