
During the New England Patriots 2008 Training Camp, there are going to be many position battles: Starting Corner, Nickel Corner, Inside Linebacker, 3rd Wide Receiver, and more. And while not quite as contentious as Jessica Alba vs Scarlet Johannson is, few will be as hotly contested as the role of kick and punt returner.
Special teams are always a priority of Coach Belichick, and last year was no exception. Patriot punt-returners averaged 9.4 yards per return, while their opponents only managed 5.4 yards. Wes Welker led the team with a 10.0 average, while Troy Brown and Chad Jackson also returned a few punts. The kick-returners fared just as well, averaging 25.2 yards per return against 22.4 for their opponents. Ellis Hobbs averaged 26.0 for the Patriots, including a 108 yard touchdown return, while Welker and Jackson also contributed. Willie Andrews, who has subsequently been released, also returned some kicks.
This year, the Patriots have a myriad of choices at the return position. During training camp, no less than seven Patriots have lined up to return kicks: Lamont Jordan, Sammy Morris, Kevin Faulk, Matthew Slater, C.J. Jones, Terrence Wheatley, and Chad Jackson. Ellis Hobbs and Wes Welker have yet to practice returns as of yet.
According to Reiss' Pieces, Slater "seems to have a knack for the return spot, combining instinct and acceleration as the hole opens." At UCLA, Slater was a jack-of-all-trades, returning the ball as well as seeing spot duty at wideout and cornerback.
Patriot coaches have to be hoping that Matthew Slater, who was the Patriots 5th round pick in 2008, is their guy. Wheatley, Jackson, Hobbs, and Welker all might be starters at some point during the season, while the newly acquired Jordan, Faulk, and Morris will be needed to provide depth at the RB position. C.J. Jones is more of a practice squad player, but if Slater doesn't work out, he may get the nod.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
New England Patriots Return Game
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
2008 NFL Movie Posters
Here are a few movie posters detailing what we think will be some of the more interesting story lines in the upcoming 2008 NFL season. Thanks to Cuzoogle.com for sending us the idea, you can view his NBA Posters here, along with a bunch of pictures of Jessica Alba, Marisa Miller, and others.
We fully expect Adrian Peterson to have a "legendary" type season. If he stays healthy, we project AP at 2100+ yards.
Matt Leinart really hasn't lived up to the promise he exhibited at USC. He has the weapons, he just needs to stay on the field.
Check out NFL Preseason Haikus as well!
Brian Westbrook and Chad Johnson are just two of many athletes whining about their million-dollar contracts, and to be honest, we're just picking on these two to get the Eagles and Bengals fans riled up.
Thanks to our friends at Cuzoogle for the following scary pic of Brett Favre. One year ago, this whole mess sure would have seemed like "fiction".
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Best Seth Rogen Movie Quotes

Pineapple Express is Coming
Allow me to leave the world of the NFL for a moment. "Pineapple Express" is coming out Wednesday, August 6th, and I haven't been this excited for a movie since, well, "The Dark Knight". Seth Rogen movies always kill me, so we've decided to compile the ten best lines from the movies he's starred in. One instance of NSFW language will follow ladies and gents.
10. "If I have to hear 'Yah mo Be There' one more time, I'm going to 'Yah mo' burn this place to the ground." Paul Rudd, playing David, who isn't very fond of Michael McDonald in the 40 Year Old Virgin.
9. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." Paul Rudd again, this time playing Pete, who doesn't have the greatest marriage ever in Knocked Up.
8. "Got to go meet my wife and watch 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants.' I don't know. How late do you get to stay up? I used to have midnight. Do you get midnight? Beacuse I was late once..." Seth Rogen, as Neil, the Doug Christie of movies in You, me, and Dupree.
7. "Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll." Seth Rogen, playing Ben Stone, finding out that shrooms and chairs aren't a good combination in Knocked Up.
6. "You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd." Craig Robinson, of The Office fame, playing the hilarious doorman in Knocked Up.
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5. "Thug life." Danny Mcbride, playing Red, the furthest thing from a thug you have ever seen in Pineapple Express.
4. "Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. " Michael Cera, as Evan, talking himself into backing McLovin's underage liquor buying in Superbad.
3. "Today's forecast? Dark and cloudy, and chance of drive-by." Haziz, played by Shelley Malil, commenting to his friend about Jay and a customer arguing in the 40 year old Virgin.
2. "We would just like it if you go home and step on the scale, and write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20." Kristen Wiig, as Jill, telling Katherine Heigl something that she should not do under any circumstances in Knocked Up.
1. "I hope you have a big trunk... because I'm puttin' my bike in it." Steve Carrell, as Andy, with the best pick-up line (literally) ever from the 40 year old Virgin.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
NFL Preseason Haikus: NFC
NFC West
San Francisco 49ers
Poor Drafts, Bad Free Agents
Patrick Willis is bright spot,
Underachievement
Seattle Seahawks
Holmgren's last hurrah
Maybe new crew are better
Than Shaun of the dead
Arizona Cardinals
Leinart not fulfilling
Lofty expectations, but
Can Kurt do kegstand?
St. Louis Rams
Seriously guys,
Just give Steven Jackson the
Freaking ball already
NFC North
Chicago Bears
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha Rex Grossman ha ha
Ha Kyle Orton ha
Green Bay Packers
Call us super crazy but
Aaron Rodgers will be great
New big cheese in town
Detroit Lions
If they get to Ten
Wins, for celebration food
Don't go to Wendy's
Minnesota Vikings
A.P. - M.V.P.
Tarvaris Jackson isn't
Give Purple Jesus the ball
Check out NFL Preseason Haikus: AFC as well!
NFC South
Carolina Panthers
QB Jake Delhomme
Is no longer DelHombre
Fox needs resume
Tampa Bay Bucs
How many QB's would
Play, if Gruden created
The NFL rules?
Atlanta Falcons
Matt Ryan is better
Than Tom Brady, at very least
In the bank account
New Orleans Saints
A team on the rise
Shockey plus Drew Brees equals
Electricity
NFC East
Dallas Cowboys
Getcha popcorn ready
The 'Boys will keep it very close
Until third quarter
New York Giants
Very tough schedule now
Can they keep up momentum?
Ask '02 Patriots
Philadelphia Eagles
Their Jerseys are green
Color fits the Iggles well
Some greedy agents
Washington Redskins
Forgotten team will
Shock their NFC East foes
And make the playoffs
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Patriots Sign Lamont Jordan
According to NFL.com's Adam Schefter, the Patriots have signed Lamont Jordan to a one-year contract, one-day after getting the heave-ho from Al Davis and the Raiders. Considering Jordan was scheduled to make $4.7 million dollars this year, he probably took quite a discount to play for the Patriots.
After a stellar 2005 season with the Raiders, including 1600+ all-purpose yards and 11 TD's, Jordan has battled injuries they last two years. In 2006 and 2007 combined, Jordan totaled 258 rushes for just under 1000 yards.
The Patriots already have a crowded backfield with the likes of first round draft pick Laurence Maroney, Kevin Faulk, and Sammy Morris. Heath Evans and Kyle Eckel have also shared time at running back in the past.
Randy Moss Part Deux?
Randy Moss, the last Raider to don the Patriot red, white, and blue turned out to be quite the addition for the New England Patriots. While Lamont Jordan won't be expected to revolutionize the offense like Moss did, although I'm sure he'll account for a few new wrinkles.
Jordan's 70 catches in 2005 should have Josh McDaniels salivating. We'd expect to see some 3rd-Down sets featuring both Jordan and Faulk coming out of the backfield.
Odd Man out?
We doubt that the Patriots will keep all four of their running backs along with two fullbacks going into the 2008 NFL season. Sammy Morris has to be the favorite to get let go. Morris is recovering from a devastating chest injury that derailed an excellent start to the 2007 campaign, and the Patriot Front Office don't have the money invested in Morris that they do in Maroney. Morris would only count $375,000 against the 2008 Salary Cap and $750,000 against the 2009 Salary Cap if he were cut. Faulk is safe in the fact that his skills--receiving, blocking--aren't duplicated by Maroney or Morris.
If the Patriots do choose to keep all four running backs, the backfield would have a level of depth not seen in these parts for a long time. Maroney and Morris are both good inside runners, while Jordan and Faulk bring receiving skills to the table. Regardless of what Bill Belichick chooses to do, Lamont Jordan was a great addition to the Patriot team.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Patriots Sign Jerod Mayo
.
Jerod Mayo Salary
The Patriots Front Office chose not to let the Mayo sit out and spoil. The former Tennessee star signed an $18.9 million dollar contract with $13 million in guaranteed money. Jerod Mayo's salary is a slight improvement over last year's 10th pick, Amobi Okoye of the Houston Texans. Okoye received $17.6 million, with $12.8 million in guaranteed, although the final year of his deal is voidable.
With the learning curve for linebackers in Bill Belichick's defensive system being quite steep, it was imperative that Jerod Mayo and the Patriots come to an agreement to get their first round draft pick in training camp.
Who's Missing?
Jerod Mayo wasn't joined by a slew of Patriots who started camp on the PUP list, including Wes Welker, Rodney Harrison, Jarvis Green, Ellis Hobbs, Bo Ruud, Nick Kaczur, Stephen Neal, and Mike Vrabel.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
NFL Preseason Haikus: AFC
AFC West
Oakland Raiders:
Haikus and Raiders
They often don't make much sense
Refrigerator
Denver Broncos:
Cutler on the rise
Needs better surrounding parts
This team? IN! COM! PLETE!
Kansas City Chiefs:
Will fans sit or stand?
If team sucks like the last year
What fans? is answer
San Diego Chargers:
Knee problems abound
Can LT and Co rebound?
Stay Classy, Chargers!
AFC North
Baltimore Ravens:
No Mac or Billick,
Offensive Genius is Gone
The Troy Smith Era!
Cinci Bengals:
Palmer hates the 'Bus
Will the fans return the hate?
Better make playoffs!
Cleveland Browns:
Anderson or Quinn
Answer in form of question
Who was a Beaver?
Pittsburgh Steelers:
Not a funny team
Seriuosly, not at all
Eleven and five?
AFC South
Tennessee Titans:
Draft more Running Backs?
Don't bet on Vince Young this year
You will lose his shirt
Houston Texans:
Battle Red and Blue will
impress, go Super Mario!
Will glass slipper fit?
Indiapolis Colts:
Dungy's final year
In their brand new stadium,
Is this a down year?
Jacksonville Jaguars:
Solid D and O,
Little MJD blocks hard
No sack dance for you!
AFC East
Miami Dolphins:
Big Chicken of Sea
Left Simpson's beau in Big D
Lexus for a Ford?
Buffalo Bills:
Good team, tough schedule
Instead of in moving cars
D should hit, Lynch run
New England Patriots:
Easy schedule
May help their noble quest to
Win last game of year
New York Jets:
Lets squash all the hate
Bill, Mangini rivalry
Swims with the fishes
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
8 Things Brett Favre Should Be Doing

Instead of playing for a team that isn't named the Packers, here are ten things that Brett Favre should be doing.
8. Be Barack Obama's running mate.
7. Try out for "Project Runway" with his all-wrangler line. Link included for non-whipped husbands.
6. Fulfill his lifelong dream of finding Carmen Sandiego. Or maybe that is my lifelong dream. Moving on.
5. Teach people how to grow quality beards in less than 3 hours.
4. Sling guns. Sling more guns.
3. Take a nice relaxing trip to the beach. With Peter King. Just don't give them a blanket.
2. Write for Page 2, beacause it seems like everyone else is. They should just put a big stamp on Rick Reilly's columns.
1. Take over for Ted Thompson.
Best User Submissions:
Take Chuck Norris over to Iraq and end the war.
Beat the hell out of Stephen A. Smith.
Add your idea below!
Monday, July 21, 2008
2008 Giants = 2002 Patriots
We took some major flak earlier this summer when we posted our predictions for the NFC East. We had the Giants finishing last, with a record of 8-8. Multiple readers of our site, and posters at various NFL-related forums, declared that we were obviously bitter Patriots fans--guilty as charged. However, the 2008 Giants are eerily shaping up like the 2002 Patriots, a team that under-performed mightily following their Superbowl run.
The Run
After Mo Lewis of the Jets spanked Drew Bledsoe during week 3 of the 2001 season, none other than Tom Brady stepped in to lead the Patriots on an improbable run to the Superbowl. To do this, they beat an impressive Pittsburgh team on the road in the AFC Championship Game, and one of the best offenses ever to grace the field in the St. Louis Rams, featuring Marshall Faulk and Kurt Warner. The Patriots shut the Greatest Show on Turf down with a brilliant defensive scheme and a superb performance by the defense.
Following the departure of Tiki Barber, the 2007 New York Giants rallied behind Eli Manning and a strong defense to make the playoffs. After beating a strong Green Bay Packers team on the road in the NFC Championship Game, they stifled the most prolific offense the National Football League has ever seen, the New England Patriots. The Giants suppressed the Patriots' aerial attack with an innovative defensive game plan and a yeoman's effort from the defensive line.
The Catch
The Patriots failed to defend their Superbowl title in 2002. They finished with a record of 9-7, on the outside looking in at the NFL Playoffs, due to a horrendous run-defense, a poor offense, and a difficult schedule. The AFC East proved to be an incredibly tough conference, as the Patriots, Jets, and Dolphins all finished with identical 9-7 records. The Bills brought up the rear with an 8-8 record.
The Giants are facing some similar problems as the 2008 season approaches. The NFC East could easily have four teams at 8-8 or better, as the Eagles, Cowboys, and to a lesser extent, the Redskins are all poised to make a playoff run as well. The Giants defense has taken a hit with the retirement of Michael Strahan and departures of Kawika Mitchell and Gibril Wilson, while on the offensive side of the ball Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey are question marks contract-wise.
Due to the strong similarities in the make-up of these two teams, don't be surprised when Giants fans are booing the 16th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft.
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Sports Blog NFL Power Rankings
Welcome to the Sports Blog NFL Power Rankings. Thanks to our friends at The Sports Dollar, World of Isaac, Blue Workhorse, and My Sports Rumors for participating. We'll be ranking and discussing how we feel the NFL teams stack up each week. Agree or disagree with how things ended up? Tell us why we're great or how much we suck in the comments below!
Read our reason why we have the defending champion New York Giants ranked 16th here, and no, we're not just bitter Patriot fans. We are bitter Patriot fans, but other stuff too.
The Sports Dollar ranked Jacksonville ahead of New England just to piss me off. I kid you not. I blame the Seattle weather for that despicable act. He states that "my boy MJD and Ol' Gold Grill Taylor will still be runnin' all over the AFC!" Hopefully one of them can stop Brady from going 26-28 again, although we doubt it. We appreciate you sticking your head out Dollar, and we still love ya.
My Sports Rumors had a different take on the top spot, awarding it to the incumbent champion New York Giants. MSR opined that "They ended the season as the best, but are they the best team? No, not even close but they are the champs. So they get the respect and start the year as #1."
World of Isaac took a look at the other side of the spectrum, ranking the Bengals 32nd. His Reason? Stella. "I don't know her last name, nor frankly, do I care. I do know this. I have no idea how she got this job. Cheerleading is a difficult sport. A sport that only takes the brightest and best. A sport that only takes the cream of the crop of hot women. Dare I say, this women is uh, well, she must be doing some favors on the side to have gotten this gig. And because the Bengals seem to value some "favors" over the quality of the women they have representing their team, I slide them into last place on my NFL rankings."
The Blue Workhorse also highlighted a team at the bottom: the Miami Dolphins. "After having a 1-15 record last season, Miami basically added only Bill Parcells and #1 overall pick Jake Long. Maybe a future addition of Brett Favre can bring them up on this list but as of now they sit at the bottom."
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Draft Picks 7/18
The World of Isaac with a very scary video. Not safe for the weak of heart and mind.
Reiss' Pieces on the Patriots O-Line.
Deuce of Davenport with the Packers beating up on the Bears, again.
Bugs and Cranks lets us know we aren't as cool as David Wright.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
NFL Network(s)?
With the NFL and Comcast still feuding, we started thinking about which NFL players are most like which TV channels. In honor of their continued struggle to allow the whole world to see the NFL Cheerleader playoffs, we will leave the NFL Network off the list here.
The Networks
ABC - Peyton Manning
The most commercial of all networks for the most commercial player ever.
NBC - Eli Manning
Hit-or-miss QB for a hit-or-miss network.
CBS - Tom Brady
Both are tops in their business.
FOX - Tony Romo
Reality TV lifestyle fits in well here.
Basic Tier
ESPN - Brett Favre
Did you know that Brett Favre's career is in flux right now?
TBS - Logan Mankins
TNT - Steve Hutchinson
Just like these two linemen, TBS and TNT are under-rated, even though they will always deliver with a timely block or a showing of Roadhouse/Blue Streak.
CNN - Marvin Harrison
Trusted. Works Hard. Ancient. This is Marvin Harrison.
HGTV - Jason Taylor
Seems like a guy that can decorate. Just saying.
CNBC - Joey Porter
Like Jim Cramer on CNBC, Joey loves to hear himself talk and generally leaves things worse than when he showed up.
Univision - Luis Castillo
Well, he does speak Spanish.
E! - Reggie Bush
There wasn't a channel about running around for six seconds and three yards.
Sci-Fi - Clinton Portis
Dude is jacked up mentally, like many of the people/things on this channel.
Spike TV - Jared Allen
Seems like the mostly like guy to go fishing with and have a few beers, err, mountain dews with.
Fox News - LaDanian Tomlinson
They both love themselves and pass judgment on others.
Comedy Central - Chris Cooley
If you haven't read this guy's blog, he is freaking hilarious. Not Mitch Hedberg or Demetri Martin yet, but dolphins are very agressive swimmers. Escalators.
History Channel - Junior Seau
Dude is old. He can still charge into the backfield aimlessly though. We still love you Junior -- please come back.
Speed Channel - Ben Roethlisberger
Let someone else drive Big Benjamin.
Travel Channel - Josh McCown
He's "played" for four teams in his 6-year career, being on such winners as the Arizona Cardinals, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders, and his current stop: the Miami Dolphins. Ouch.
Food Network - Ted Washington
Listed at 365ish. Ha. Ted laughs at scales that only go up to 365.
Animal Planet - Ray Lewis
This is where your dogs are currently located Ray.
The Premium Channels
HBO - Rex Grossman
80% of the time bad(INT's, fumbles, random old movies), and 20% sublime(SB Run, TD's CYE, Entourage, Sopranos, The Wire), Rex and HBO know how to tease.
Showtime - Chris Henry
Cinemax - Adam Jones
Guns. Sex. Weeds.
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Holy Comments Blogman, Entrecard Strikes Again!
Notice anything different when you are leaving comments? You now have the ability to rate comments thanks to the partnership between SezWho and Entrecard. Pow! Plus, if you're an Entrecard member, you'll also get the added bonus of receiving credits each time you leave a relevant comment. Zap! All you need to do is sign up with SezWho to get started, and if you run your own blog, sign it up with Entrecard if you haven't already done so. The process takes about 5 minutes total, and you'll be receiving more comments and better quality of traffic immediately. Boof!
Suppose We Juxtapose
We unwrapped our shiny new copy of Photoshop CS3 yesterday, and decided to try it out with some pictures of NFL players with a juxtaposed headline. Enjoy:
Heck, he's been doing that to Bears fans for years.
He plays hard and the Patriots fans love it. Nobody else does.
It's coming to you. Almost there. And you got it, good.
Unless you count the Minnesota Vikings.
Stay juiced, San Diego. And thanks for stopping by. But mainly stay juiced.
Monday, July 14, 2008
NFL Mystery File: Shaun Alexander

Check out NFL Mystery File: Peyton Manning
We weren't incredibly surprised when Shaun Alexander had a poor year for the Seattle Seahawks in 2007, but by no means did we expect the precipitous drop off that occurred to the former NFL MVP and one-time holder of the season touchdown mark. He still doesn't have a team for the 2008 season!
What could have triggered this fall from grace? Here are a few likely explanations:
10. Mike Holmgren was even more successful holding him back from earning incentives this year.
9. Defenders found it very easy to grab onto the fork sticking out of his back and tackle him.
8. Shaun must not have been Vista compatible.
7. He really wanted to be considered for the "Comeback Player of The Year" award.
6. Just wanted to make sure he wasn't on the cover of Madden again, because that can ruin a career.
5. Spent way too much time pondering why c7-c5 is such a powerful response to d2-d4.
4. Always dreamed of being on Eric Karabell's fantasy sleeper list.
3. It's much harder to run when Steve Hutchinson hasn't destroyed half of the defensive line.
2. Shaun found out how Shaq's ass tastes. Needless to say, it was a scarring experience.
1. As you suspected all along, he did it just to screw up your fantasy football team.
Feel free to add your own reasons in the comments below!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Draft Picks 7/11
80% Mental writes on a way to improve my golf game.
World of Isaac lets the Creamer rise to the top.
The Big Lead on those Duke jerks.
The 700 Level has a disturbing article with Sarge in it.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
NFL Mystery File: Peyton Manning

During the dead time before NFL Training Camps open and the NCAA season begins, we'd like to explore some of the more perplexing mysteries from the National Football League. Up today, just what the heck is Peyton Manning doing when he is waving his arms around before the snap? Here are ten possibilities:
10. Just pointing out which body parts are powered by lasers and or rockets.
9. Performing an interpretive dance of how to get 30 lives in Contra.
8. Using sign language to deliver a MasterCard commercial to the non-hearing.
7. Arlen Specter is holding congressional investigations to find out.
6. Giving John Madden 30 more seconds to say something obvious.
5. He saw Tee Martin do it, and Peyton is a wee bit jealous for some reason.
4. Trying out for "Dancing With the Stars".
3. Ed Hochuli told him too. Would you say no?
2. According to Bryant Gumbel, it's all just part of his 5th Down routine.
1. It's all a bunch of crap.
On Deck: Why did Shaun Alexander suck so bad last year?
In the hole: How does Norv Turner have a job?








