Thursday, May 29, 2008

NFL Fines We'd Like to See


With the NBA implementing fines for flopping next year, we thought of a few fines we'd like to see created in the NFL. We've already got fines for hitting QB's and collaring people by their horses, but you will now be fined for the following things:




  • You do the little "throw the flag" dance after some CB brushes you
  • You call a fake audible, and you're not Peyton Manning
  • You hire Bryant Gumbel to do anything involving the NFL
  • The phrase "I think Ricky Williams is ready to play this year" crosses your lips
  • You catch yourself singing along to "This is My Country"
  • Your chicas booty weighs more than you can rush for in a game
  • You line Roy Williams up at safety
  • Roy Williams covers you for an entire play
  • You wear white Michael Jackson gloves
  • Your name is Chris Berman
  • You give Tom Brady a dirty look
  • You allow Mercury Morris to speak
  • You say the word "disrespect" more than once a month
  • You celebrate quarterback "hits", even on completions

Please add your own in the comments below!



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9 comments:

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Eric said...

The no disrespect one would cost some Pats players a lot of money.

Joseph said...

You are an insufferable Patriot fan who didn't exist prior to the turn of the century.

Anonymous said...

Those are two incredibly original comments.

Anonymous said...

If Roy Williams covers you for an entire play, you should be cut immediately. No waiting till the next day or until the game is over. You should head straight to the tunnel and to some far away remote island and wait for the sweet release of death.

Roy Williams couldn't cover his leftovers...not that he's ever had any.

Shotgun said...

Good stuff JC. Bush's chick's booty may way more than he does.

I also think you should be fined if you allow Pacman Jones to have dollar bills.

Anonymous said...

You end up 18-1 after opening the season 18-0 ... also if you are an insufferable former miami dolphin who clinks champagne every year when an undefeated team loses one.

Da Old Man said...

How about an automatic fine any time anyone mentions any connection at all between a Cowboys game and Jessica Simpson.

Double the fine if Simpson is then portrayed in a Cowboys jersey.

Shotgun said...

@da old man - That definitely needs to become a fine. The coverage and blame and boring non-football related BS was WAY, WAY too much for me last season.

Anonymous said...

everyone who keeps talkin about the pats is jealous becuase your team probably went 1-15 or 4-12.
quit hatin losers
boston is titletown